Grandmère comes to visit

M and her BFF stumble into the elegant Neuilly flat laughing, their heads bent intently over their smartphones. Alex had sent a texto that was mdr (mort de rire) and they absolutely, omg, had to send it off to Claire, Olivia and Gertrude this very minute. Their Crackberry key boards clicking away at an astounding pace, the stereotypical fifteen year olds are so  absorbed in communicating beyond the flat, that they don’t notice what is actually happening within.

They are bowled over, quite literally as Mamie rushes towards them, her arms out spread, “Mawh, mawh, chérie…. its so lovely to see you. Oh, hello M. I’ve bought something. We’ve got business to attend to. What are you girls doing down on the floor? You look silly down, there, get up.”

The BFF looks up, startled, unconsciously wiping her grandmother’s lipstick marks from her cheeks as she rises back to her feet. “Mamie, you knocked us over! I didn’t know you were coming. You look so nice. What is the occasion?”

“Didn’t your mother tell you? She invited the family over for dinner. Your cousins are coming from London. We have to hurry. Come along.”

“Come along, where?”

“I told you, I brought something.”

Mamie hands the BFF a pink plastic Monoprix bag. The BFF looks down into the package, brushing back her waist length hair, “What’s this? E-pi-la-tion? Epilation! Eww, gross, what’s this for? Mamie, I have a friend here.” she starts to whine.

“It’s only M. And anyway, I don’t mind. She can watch. Now come on, we have to hurry”

“Watch? She can watch? Watch what?”

Beh, mon épliation. You have to wax my mustache. Look at this mustache, c’est horrible. I was supposed to go to Ingrid on Monday, but now it can’t wait. I can’t have the family see me like this, come on, they’ll be here soon.”

“Maammmmie, M is here!!! This is sooooo embarrassing…..”

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