In 1892 French sculptor Léon Grandin was hired to design the fountains for the Chicago World’s Fair that brought us the Ferris Wheel, Juicy Fruit gum and dishwashers. Being a brave, bold woman for her time, who had probably heard rumours about that dishwashing machine, his wife insisted on joining in the adventure. Knowing this was a trip of a life time, Marie kept a journal and later wrote a book about her time in the US.

Like Parisians expats living abroad today, she had a hard time with the food, missing quality breads, cheeses and “properly” cooked vegetables. She marveled at the differences in child rearing and was enchanted with the endless possibilities available.

Having recently read her book, Une Parisienne à Paris, Madame Grandin was with me on my latest adventure to the Windy City, as I wondered at America through her eyes. I imagined how she would have been surprised to see the solo woman enjoying a glass of white wine and a casual bite at the très Parisienne counter of the Bistro Zinc or enjoyed the modern (for her times) collection of Impressionist art at the Chicago Art Institute.

More than a century divides us, and I grew up in the US, yet I can relate to the cultural shock she experienced. I freeze as I go to open the door at the Tourist office and there is an icon indicating “No Pistols Allowed”. Ordering my morning coffee, I request a small cup to a confused server who only understands terms like Venti or Grande. Once we think we have communicated she arrives with her version of small and I think there has been some kind of misunderstanding at the supersized serving.

I jump back a step as the sales man, yes MAN!!! at Victoria’s Secret asks me my name. He is so friendly Mr French thinks he may be stoned, until his other colleagues act just as chipper. The salesman at Ralph Lauren hands me the business card for his blog. Its a familiarity I’ve grown unfamiliar with.

People look quizically as I stammer and stutter, clueless as to where I should sign with the stylus at the check out counter, or swipe my card in the taxi. “But you sound like an American, aren’t you American?” They query. “Oui, mais non” is the most appropriate reply.

At restaurants, our mouths drop as we are served ginormous portions. We plow through meals, desserts loosing their appeal. And there is food everywhere, students striding by, shoveling Asian noodles into their mouths between classes. At the movie theater bags rustle, chips crunch and entire meals are devoured, a chorus of bodily functions  accompanying the film.

Discussing our dismay at screaming kids being tolerated in diners and taco joints, a friend tells us that local Alinea, one of San Pellegrino’s 10 best Restaurants in the World recently expelled two guests with their screaming baby. The restaurant was chastised by the press for discrimination against parents with young children. The concept disturbs me on so many levels, it leaves even me without the words as my mind stutters to grasp the mentality of people who bring a baby to a $1000 meal and the culture that thinks this should be a right.

At Symphony Center we are astounded when late arrivals are allowed into the theater and shown their seats while the legendary Mavis Staples sings her heart out on stage.

While digesting our shock, we were also full of wonder. Imagine, a jazz singer in a symphony hall? And the zoo is a marvelous, open space, free to all. The city is investing in environmental projects along the entire lakefront and the public art is simply stupendous. There is a can do spirit of adventure, with the sense that anything is possible that is sadly lacking in French culture.

Much like Grandin, who returned to the US to settle there permanently, I was both shocked and delighted by the lack of rules in American society today. And I realized that while I may someday return, I will never truly go home again.

Last week Mr French came home from the office a bit early, too tired to continue his day. Early, for Mr French means he walked through the door just before 8pm. It had been a lovely, sunny day and I had purchased the first heirloom tomatoes of the season with a loose ball of fresh burrata. It was the perfect dinner for a tired man; light and healthy with the creamy decadence of buffalo milk. The flavors of summer in early April. What a treat! Even better, M had been particularly entertaining, keeping us laughing over the exploits of French teens. We started to settle into a very relaxing evening and I was quite please with myself that things had gone so smoothly. Before opening the pages of his book, Mr French checked his email one last time.

“Putain. This is wrong!” he jumped. “Something is wrong.” he had seen an email from our bank and it looked like we were being robbed. An hour of panic ensued, as he tried to understand exactly what was happening and how. While dealing with this fire, the phone rang. It was his daughter, La Fashionista. She was calling to inform us that she was dealing with a a fire of her own. Literally. She was calling from outside her building at Les Halles, flames soaring out of the first floor flat, extending well beyond her home on the 4th floor. She was hoping desperately her Cocker Spaniel was safe while pompiers rescued her neighbors from their homes. Once it was sure the humans were saved, a fireman took her keys and rushed three flights up the smoke filled staircase to save her puppy. Our hero!

Astonishingly, we both managed to sleep that night. La Fasionista slept, too, safe with her puppy at a friend’s. Over the next few days, we were able to recover the stolen property and La Fashionista learned her flat had only suffered smoke damage. An annoyance, but nothing more.

On Sunday, we had a family brunch to lick our wounds and on Monday, we hit the ground running, our plates full as we were both slammed with work; the days a blur of words passing before my screen as my fingers fly across the keyboard. This morning, rushing out the door to face requests that are piling up faster than can be treated, I went to the closet to grab my shoes. There was water on the closet floor. ON MY SHOES on the closet floor!!! I threw everything into the hallway and discovered it was coming from our hot water heater. I have a tendency to take a short story and make it longer. I’ll spare you this time, but right now I am a prisoner in my home, keeping an eye on the heater to make sure it and its 200 litres of water don’t sink through the floor before the plumber can arrive at 5pm.

There are three boogey men hiding in the closet of every Parisian; floods, fire and robbery. In the last seven days, Mr French and I have had a glimpse of them all. When these things happen in our lives, the same thought always goes through my head, “We’re all safe. We’re all healthy. Thank you, universe.” And I feel blessed as we deal with the bank, the plumber and the insurance companies. But I think I deserve a holiday, so I am off tomorrow morning, leaving the pink blossoms of spring time in Paris for a week in the unseasonable cold of Chicago where snow is still expected. I don’t mind. I’ll be with Mr French and my girls and thanking the universe with all my heart.